" This is an excellent piece of work with a lot of fun, take your time to read it. "
First Mission Blues… (By CM Zzythnu)“Welcome aboard the Avenger, SL. I hope your stay here is a productive one. Your Squadron’s quarters are located on level 36 Delta, please make your way there immediately. There will be a new officer briefing at 0400 hours, so get some rest tonight.”
“Yes Sir,” I replied to the officer of the day as I saluted with academic precision. I had just arrived at my first assignment, and could not believe the size of the shuttle bay, let alone the rest of the ship. I had heard rumors of the Dark Brotherhood’s flagship. I never dreamed I would get assigned to her. After several years at the Academy, my fledgling force abilities came to light, and I was recruited by the Dark Brotherhood. That was fortuitous, since it allowed me to stand where I was now.
I walked through several hangars, trying to find my way to the flight crews quarter’s. It seemed as if I never would, but I was in awe of the many different type of craft I saw. I almost started to drool as a flight of Tie Advanced fighters prepared to launch on a patrol. Soon I would be in one myself. I could hardly wait.
After asking directions of almost every officer and enlisted rating I saw, I finally found myself in the right area for the squadron quarter’s. As I entered the office of Fury Squadron, I snapped to rigid attention as the Commander was walking towards the door.
“Sir, SL Zzythnu Sneevax reporting for duty, Sir!” I snapped another perfect salute.
“At Ease, SL. Let me see your orders”
I handed my Paperwork to the commander, ad resumed my rigid posture.
“Straight from the Academy I see, What made you want to fly in the Navy son?”
“Sir, My brother was a pilot, who was lost. His name was Wulf, and he was assigned to the ISD Relentless. After his death, I felt I had to join in his honor.”
“Well, I guess that’s noble, if not the brightest reason to join. OK, You’ll bunk in room 36D17. Get stowed and then head to the O-club. We have a little welcome for you.”
“Right away sir!” I snapped a salute and hurried down the hull to my room. I found an open bunk and locker, and put my gear away. I looked into the mirror for a moment to make sure my uniform was in tip top shape. After a few adjustments, I headed off to try and find the O-club to meet the rest of the squadron.
After what seemed like hours of endless wondering, I entered the club. It was dark, and smelled like a Bantha herd’s bedding grounds. I waited a moment to let my eyes adjust, and was slightly shocked by the rough appearance of the club, as well as it’s denizens.
“Hey, it’s the new flyboy!! Come on in Sub Lieutenant!” The Commanders voice rose over the din.
“Hey, look, its one of those ‘top of the class’ academy punks, isn’t it” Another pilot added with a chuckle.
“Yeah, Mr. Spotless, well we’ll see about that!” A tall pilot in the corner moved towards me.
“Peeps, let me introduce our new replacement, SL Zzythnu Sneevax, I think we’ll call him Z for now. Everybody make him feel at home.” The Commander put his hand on me and guided me deeper into the club. “Why don’t we introduce him to our squadron drink. Hey, MD20-20 give him a Hell’s fury on me!”
I sat amongst the other pilots as a serving droid brought out a large cup, made from a hollowed asteroid chunk. In it was some vile smelling fluid that glowed orange, and gave of a thick steam. The last thing I remember was not wanting to make a fool of myself and appear weak, so I lifted the drink to my lips and chugged…
The buzzing seemed to come from everywhere. It took a few moments to realize the darkness was the back of my eyelids. I slipped open an eye, and was staring at my bunks chronometer. The blinding red digits stabbed into my brain as a sudden sick realization hit. 0355 hours… What had happened. I staggered from my bunk, still in my dress uniform. The clothes were stuck to me from something I couldn’t even describe being all over them. I peeled them off, grabbed a flight suit and stumbled for the door. I had exactly 5 minutes to get to the briefing.
I still looked a mess as I entered the briefing room late. All heads turned to me. The other new pilots were as immaculate as any academy parade, and there I stood, wrinkled flight suit, hair like a wet mop, and the stench of who knows what in a cloud around me.
“Nice of you to make it SUB lieutenant! As I was explaining to the real pilots here, I appears that a small rebel strike force has just hype red in, and we are on alert. Each of you will be paired with a veteran, so hopefully you will survive your first mission. Lets head out!”
I stumbled along after the rest of the pilots throught the ready room, grabbed a flight helmet, and tried to look as dignified a possible while I climbed into the cockpit of a TIE Advanced. An enlisted rating rushed over as I finished strapping into the couch.
“Sir, that ship hasn’t finished its maintenance cycle yet.”
“Will It fly?” I grumbled
“Yes, But…”
“Then shut the hatch, I have to launch!” I bit back testily. So much for building good working relationships from the start.
“Very well..” The rating shut the hatch and left the launch rack. I felt a lurch as the fighter was dropped, and pulled the stick to roll into formation.
“What are you doing Newb 12, that isn’t the ship you were suppose to be in!!!” A voice crackled over the net.
“Joining formation sir…” That’s when it hit me. A whole nights drinking caught up, and the pressure was overwhelming. I cursed under my breath as I reached for the relief tube connection to my suit. A sudden feeling of dread came over me as I realized the relief unit had been removed, and a maintenance tag was hung where it should be.
“Sir, I have a problem, and will have to abort” I breathed out through gritted teeth.
“Very well, we will have a nice discussion at debriefing, good thing for you this was just an exercise.”
I turned away from the formation, and prayed I would make it back in time. As I landed and climbed out of the fighter, the rating came up with a chuckle.
“Sir, I’m afraid you will have to clean that up”
He was pointing into the cockpit, now laughing heartily. I guess I definitely made some kind of first impression. I wondered if I would ever live that one down. It was a very illustrious first mission…
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" And Finally I like this black humor :P this one will draw a smile in your face! "
EMB (By CPT Czulvang Lah) Captain Lah stood in the Wing Commander’s Office, waiting for his new assignment.
“Czu,”, Golbez Harvey said, “there will be a new SL arriving on the Subjugator in an hour. This report says she knows you.”
Lah looked at the name on the report, his mind spinning in a million different directions. No…not here. She couldn’t have caught up with him here. Not after Ossus.
“I know her, but I’d prefer not to see her again.” Czulvang said, standing up and reaching for his lightsaber.
Golbez merely stood in place, looking at the CMDR.
“Like it or not,” he said, “she’s been assigned to Fury.”
Czulvang began walking toward the hangar, thinking of what he was going to do. He just couldn’t see her again. Not after what had happened all those years ago.
He reached the hangar just in time to see the shuttle land. Then, from the boarding ramp, came a blue Twi’lek female. Sub-Lieutenant Luminari Retg’a. Just as beautiful as she was 15 years ago. Bah, he was getting sentimental in his old age. He would have to spend more time practicing his saber skills with Baron to overcome these thoughts of happiness and beauty. They were not of his species.
Walking forward, she saluted the Wing Commander. “SL Luminari Retg’a reporting for duty, sir.”
“Ah, SL. Very nice to meet you. I am Colonel Golbez Harvey, and this is your Commander, Captain Czulvang Lah.”
The Twi’lek stepped toward Lah. “Ah, greetings Captain. I look forward to working with you in the future.”
“As do I, “ Lah, said, forcing a smile to his face. “Unfortunately, we were just preparing for some flying drills. Since you’ve just arrived, I’ll assume you’d like to get to your quarters first.”
Retg’a turned and faced the Fury pilots, assembled on the other side of the hangar.
“No, I’d enjoy flying first.”
Lah tossed the SL a helmet and walked toward his fighter. The few seconds seemed like an eternity as he plotted the days exercises in his head.
When they left the Subjugator, Fury Squadron began to fly around the ship, circling several of the containers around it.
“Fury,” Lah said. “Inside those containers are all the lazy members of Flayer squadron. And 2 tons of garbage.”
He could hear the cackling from several of his pilots in the background.
“Our job is to..shake things up a bit,” Lah announced with an evil grin. “So, you will fire two shots at the containers before switching to ion cannons and attacking the nearest fighter to you. You will DISABLE only!”
This was met with 10 “Yes, Sirs.
“Those poor people,” the final pilot said. “It must be so hot in there, and smell so bad.”
By the sound of her voice, Czulvang could tell that SL Retg’a was approaching tears.
“You are in Imperial Officers! There will be no sympathizer with the garbage men!”
This, again was met with cackles from the rest of the squadron.
As Fury lined up their shots, a single T/A broke formation and went close to the containers.
“She’s opening an channel to the container, Czul” Korv informed the CMDR.
“Bah, thanks Korv. I’ll take care of this. A little public humiliation should help a little.”
“But…she’s new!” Korvyn Halcyon exclaimed, “You can’t seriously bel….”
“I’ll do as I will, Korv. I suggest you remember that”
LT Halcyon stuttered his reply. “Uh..uh..yes, sir. Of course.”
Opening a channel to the squadron, Czulvang Lah made his announcement.
“SL Retg’a. You are sympathizing with the enemy. According to Imperial law, disruption of an official training exercise due to the morality of the exercise is considered treason. I am willing to drop the charges and simply have you join a few of our…guests in the brig if you cut your engines now.”
Czulvang waited for the reply, and he didn’t like what he heard.
“But..Czul, sweetie…You’ve never been this coldhearted. What happened to you? Can’t you feel their pain. They’ve suffered enough. Can’t you feel the pain in their noses?”
“SL, you are sympathizing with the enemy! This is unacceptable. Plus, you called your Commander and superior officers, “Sweetie”.
The conversation was broken when LT Sinister interjected. “Standing by to disable the traitor”
“But sweetie, don’t you remember…”
“Sweetie, yeah, Czul, don’t you remember?” LT Laser said.
Lah growled into his comm unit. “Laser…where the hell did you come from!?!?!?”
“Hehe, I’m lurking in the shadows. Always…”
Shaking his head, Czul turned to the matter at hand. Before he could speak, Luminari Retg’a’s reply came.
“Czul, my sweet Vong. Don’t you remember the good times we had? Come one, just let me free them, and I’ll pay you a visit in your quarters later
( >:P). “
Hearing the chuckle coming from his other pilots, Czulvang Lah did something unexpected. Reaching out with the Force, he began to reconstruct the wiring of Retg’a’s fighter.
“Wha? I’m losing control. Ion Drives at full speed. Ah!!!!!!!”
Lah turned away from the explosion as his former lover’s TIE collided with the side of container housing the laziest of the Slayer FMs.
The craft continued in a fireball through the container and out the other side, trailing the bodies of garbage sorters.
“CPT Lah” the WC’s voice came. “Czu, what’s going on?”
“There’s been an accident, Golbez. The SL lost control of her fighter and collided with a container. There wasn’t enough time to do anything.”
“Hmm…odd. Well, I guess we should inform the FO that we’ll be needing another SL for Fury. But, why do you have 12 fighters there?”
“Yeah, uh Golbez, about that SL. We won’t be needing him. An old Fury veteran has returned.”
Lah could hear the intrigue in Golbez Harvey’s voice. “Heh? Well, get him a bunk. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the cantina.”
